Moonless Night
by Saige C.P
Summary: Harry has lost his godfather and now, his will to live. At Hogwarts, everyone can see how badly Harry's taking Sirius' death. But no one had suspected Harry would go as far as turning suicidal! Can anyone save Harry before it's too late?


_Disclaimer: Though I may fantasize about it a lot, I do not own anything belonging to J.K Rowling. My little fanfictions are nothing compared to her great work. But I can still keep dreaming. _

_J.K FOR PRESIDENT!_

_Warnings: This fanfiction may contain coarse language, dark themes and suicide attempts. It may not be suitable for children. You have been warned people! Also might turn into a slash later on…I don't know…anything's possible at this point…_

_Foreword: This is my second fanfiction and much shorter than my first (which is still in progress). I hope you like this one though, I came up with it the other night when I couldn't sleep and I just had to put it into words before I forgot it. (Might be a sequel, I don't know; I'm not a one hundred percent sure where this fanfiction is actually going). _

_Enjoy!_

_Summary: Harry has lost his godfather and now, his will to live. At Hogwarts, everyone can see how badly Harry's taking Sirius' death. But no one had suspected Harry would go as far as turning suicidal! Can anyone save Harry before it's too late? _

MOONLESS NIGHT

By Saige C.P

The happiness was gone. Without the happiness those emerald eyes were surprisingly shallow and empty. Such were Severus' thoughts as he watched Potter enter the Great Hall with the other students, refusing to participate in any of the animated conversations buzzing around him; appearing oblivious to anything going on. He was even ignoring his friends Weasley and Granger who were repeatedly trying to get his attention but to no avail. Dumbledore had said this might happen; that Potter might sink into a deep depression like this. He knew the headmaster was planning to fix it but right now it was hard to believe that anyone could help a child that depressed. That boy had fallen into an abyss of grief and mourning, and it didn't look like he was going to climb out any time soon.

He watched as the raven head and his fellow Gryffindors took a seat at their table. Across from him Granger leaned over trying again in vain to get something out of him. As before he just stared blankly at her anxious face, giving away no emotion or any indication of what he was thinking. After exchanging a troubled look with Weasley beside her, she gave up and sat back down. Severus suspected it had been like this for the trio for the duration of their trip here. He was also almost certainly sure that neither Weasley nor Granger knew of the prophecy.

Dumbledore had shared the contents of the prophecy with him in May, right after he had told the boy himself. He couldn't begin to imagine how the boy must have felt when he'd heard it, especially right after losing his guardian. From the look of Dumbledore's face during their discussion and the new arrangement of Dumbledore's broken possessions and instruments smashed on the office floor, Severus had guess not very well at all. Things were certainly not looking up for Potter and his current attitude wasn't helping at all. Something was going to have to be done about it before the boy did something stupid. This wasn't going to go away by itself.

He turned his head to the middle of the staff table like everyone else in the hall as Dumbledore stood up to begin his speech. He watched as the headmaster slowly gazed around at all the students, pausing a fraction of second longer at the Gryffindor table where Potter and his friends sat. Severus looked over at Potter again to find the boy staring passively at the tabletop, submerged in his own world somewhere faraway.

'Welcome everyone,' Dumbledore's voice rang out and Severus tore his eyes away from the sad boy to give the headmaster his attention, 'To our new students welcome to Hogwarts, and to the rest of you troublemakers…

A lot of the students laughed and sniggered at this.

…it's so good to see you all back safe and unharmed.' He smiled down at them all happily and the majority of them smiled back. Then his face turned more formal. 'We are experiencing a time of apprehension and danger. Our world has become submersed in conflict and violence. It is at this time that we will need one another more than ever before. Only when we stand together and strive as one can we rise to the challenges that await us.'

He paused for a moment and Severus was sure he saw the headmaster redirect his gaze ever-so-slightly so that it came to rest upon Potter specifically.

'I know that sometime life turns on us and makes us feel that we're all alone, that there is nothing left for us in this world. Sometimes we just want to give up and let go because we feel there is nothing we can do. But I am here to tell you; all of you, that as long as we support and trust one another there will always be a way. No matter how hopeless and no matter how implausible. And I would like to take this moment to say that no matter what happens; no matter where this war may go, every single one of you will always be welcome here. You will always have help at Hogwarts. Never forget that.'

Everyone clapped when he finished talking. Severus couldn't help but suspect that Dumbledore's speech had been slightly more directed at Potter than the rest of the students, who still hadn't looked up from the table; deaf to the applause around him. He was sure Dumbledore's efforts had been hopeless; he was ready to wager that Harry hadn't heard a single word he'd said.

After everyone had finished clapping, Dumbledore cleared his throat to begin again. 'Now, due to recent events there will be new rules set in place to insure you're safety-

These new rules were inconvenient but sadly necessary. After every lessen every teacher was to escort their students from their class to the next lessen and not even halfway through the first day Severus was finding it a real drag…his latest class being the worst so far. He had been teaching the Slytherin and Gryffindor sixth years and they were always a handful in class. The partnering of the two houses proved to be a hazardous occasion in which almost every lesson someone managed to get their face blown up by someone from the other house. And the constant bickering was torture but that wasn't the worst of it. The worst: Harry Bloody Potter.

Not once during his entire lesson had Potter given any indication that he was at least trying to understand what he was saying. The boy had just sat there the whole time not retaliating when the Slytherins threw an insult at him or even when he threatened to give him a months worth of detention for not listening. Not sure what to do with the boy, and knowing that Dumbledore wouldn't like him pushing Potter in his fragile state, he'd just let him be after a while. He'd been no more successful than Granger the night before in getting anything out of him. He was starting to wonder if the boy had gone deaf or something.

McGonagall was waiting for them at her classroom door. Severus silently wished her luck as he walked towards her; this lot were being especially rowdy on the first day back. She looked up when they were only a few feet away and silently opened the door to let the students in. As the little pests filed inside, Severus turned to the other professor. 'Sorry about the wait, Professor McGonagall, this lot has been quite a handle today.'

'That's quite alright, Severus,' she assured him kindly, 'I just came back from taking my previous class to charms.'

'Yes, well-

'Oh, Mr Potter,' McGonagall cut over him, addressing young Potter who was the last to enter the class and had now stopped in mid stride in the doorway, 'I just wanted to say I'm very sorry about your godfather, Potter, it must have been very hard for you to lose him-

'I didn't lose him!' Potter retaliated unexpectedly breaking his silent-act, making them and his friends beside him jump; this was the first time any of them had heard him speak since last term. 'He's dead!'

'Harry!' Granger gasped, evidently appalled by her friend's words.

'Potter,' Severus warned him.

'It's alright, Severus,' she said to him before he could go on and then turned back to Harry. 'I know you and Sirius were very close. What I was trying to say was that what happened at the Ministry was cruel and unfortunate. But I assure you that the Order will not rest until the people responsible for this are in jail.'

'There's only one person responsible for Sirius' death, and that's me!' Potter shouted angrily at her.

'Potter, you can't-

'Just leave me alone,' the boy grumbled, 'all of you!' He turned and stalked away while everyone watched him go, too stunned to stop him.

Hogwarts was a much gloomier place at night when one was patrolling its gloomy halls by oneself. Shadows loomed up on the stone walls, taking on the shapes of foul and sinister things. Violent wind clapped against the stain-glass windows and thunder could be heard rumbling in the distance, growing louder by the minute. Severus was so tired he just wanted to go back to his quarters and rest; it had been a long day. The entire staff had been in a frenzy all afternoon searching for Potter who hadn't been seen by anyone since his little tantrum outside the transfiguration classroom.

Potter is proving to be more trouble than what he's worth, Severus thought to himself as he came up to the seventh floor.

Just then he saw a sudden movement down the end of the corridor and he pursued it immediately. He followed it all the way to the Astronomy Tower, he hadn't been able to get a good look but he was sure it was a student from all the noise they were making. He'd followed at a distance so the troublemaker wouldn't hear him following. He slowed down as he made his way up the winding staircase; they had nowhere to run now. When he reached the top and no one was in sight he knew they had to be outside on the balcony. But what were they thinking going out there in this horrible storm? He hurried over to the door and hesitated only a second before stepping out into the roaring wind.

Every other time Severus had come up here it had been to gaze out over the beautiful landscape that stretched out to all horizons in front of him. But on a night like this the grounds of Hogwarts didn't look beautiful and mystical, but dark and depressing. The disheartening site before him held his attention for a few moments but then something caught his attention that made him start; someone; the student he had followed up here, had climbed up on the stone battlement and was leaning out over the side of the tower; they were going to jump!

'Stop!' he yelled, hoping to stop them. It worked. The student paused just before letting go of the stone blocks that wound around the tower and looked over his shoulder to squint at him. It was Potter! The boy was an absolute mess; his matted hair whipped around his face, pushed by the harsh breeze and those eyes…Severus had never seen anyone look so devastated, so broken in his life.

'Potter,' he said, hurrying towards him. 'Don't-

'Stop right there!' Potter cried at him, leaning further off the tower threateningly. Severus halted at once.

They stared at each other, Severus knew that if he moved then Potter would let go. Potter was determined on seeing this through but he thought he could see some hesitance in those eyes; there might still be hope. _Might._ 'What are you doing, Potter?'

No answer. So it was going to be like that was it? Severus was scared, this wasn't just another pissed off teenager; this kid was suicidal. All he had to do was say something that upset Potter and the boy would jump. He decided on a different approach.

'So this is the answer to all your problems? This is going to make everything alright?' he asked the boy softly, remaining where he was.

Potter was having an internal struggle. One moment he looked like he was going to answer him but then he didn't look so sure.

'And how do you think your godfather would feel about this?'

'Shut up!' Potter shouted at him, 'Don't you dare! Don't you dare talk to me about Sirius! I know what you did to him! You wanted him dead!'

Severus looked at him fully, holding his gaze so he could see the truth behind his words. 'I did not,' he said, just loud enough to be heard.

Again, Potter didn't say anything; only stared at him stubbornly, looking scared and petrified. Slowly Severus moved forward. Not directly towards Potter like before but around the perimeter of the tower. Potter, though shifting around on the balls of his feet uncomfortably, did not object until he was about a metre away and Severus stopped again obediently. He had closed quite a majority of the distance between them but he still didn't think he was close enough to prevent Potter from attempting to take his own life.

'Why don't you get down from there before you do something rash,' he suggested coldly, taking another step, gripping his wand readily in his pocket.

'Stop it! Or I-I'll jump!'

'If you were going to jump I'm sure you would have done so by now-

Potter's face filled with fury. 'You don't know anything about me!'

Severus had had enough; he had to end this now. But before he could utter a spell his wand was sent flying out of his hand and fell onto the stone floor out of his reach. He glared at Potter questioningly, knowing that even though Potter didn't have his wand drawn out, that this was somehow his doing. _The headmaster had said the boy had powers the Dark Lord knows not…_

'I don't think you'll be needing that,' the boy growled, glaring at him darkly and for a second Severus was genuinely afraid.

'Can you at least tell me then why I am being forced to stand by and watch you take your own life?'

Potter's face grew even more sinister, if that was possible. 'No ones making you stay.'

Severus was going to say something but Potter continued.

'However,' he said, 'I believe you'd find that by the time that you ran off to get the assistance of the headmaster or some other member of the staff…you'd find that I was no longer here.'

There was another pause between them.

'Besides, what do you care? You've hated me since the moment you laid eyes on me.'

There was a long pause before Severus replied. 'Even if that were the case, Potter, I'm not going to let you jump off the bloody tower.'

Potter laughed at him almost hysterically. 'As if you could stop me!'

It started to rain, heavily. Severus didn't know what to say to him, this was like trying to reason with a maniac! He knew what he had to do to save Potter; he had to convince him that this wasn't the only solution to all his problems. Taking one hesitant look at the Black Lake far below he hesitantly pulled his cloak off and then bent down to undo his shoes.

'What are you doing?'

'Well if you're going to jump off the tower and into the lake then I'm just going to have to jump in after you and save your bloody arse, aren't I?'

'Don't be an idiot!'

'Don't be a hypocrite!' Severus barked at the teen.

Potter looked like he was going to retaliate further but he snapped his mouth shut in an irritable pout instead, looking back out to the lake below, a hurt look on his face.

'Look, Potter,' he sighed. He was just out of arms reach of the boy now but he didn't move to stop him, just stared down at the lake too. 'This doesn't have to be the solution.' He glanced back at Potter, waiting for an answer but he didn't appear to be listening. 'Harry!'

The boy looked up at him…but not like he usually does…he _really_ looked at him. He couldn't help but stare back and hold that powerful gaze; those emerald eyes were ablaze, like wild fire. For one moment Severus felt as if the boy was staring deep into his soul. 'What did you call me?' he whispered.

'Harry,' he stuttered, still held by those eyes, 'that is your name.'

No answer, just wild fire; so he went on. 'Why are you really up here, Harry? Why are you doing this?'

And that's when the tears spilled out blending into the glazing rain. 'It's my fault,' he croaked.

'What is?' Severus whispered, glad he was finally getting somewhere with this boy.

'Everything…Sirius…he's gone because of me.'

'You can't think that-'

'It's t-true,' the boy cried.

'Who's said that to you?'

Potter just shook his head. 'You don't understand,' he said.

He hesitated. 'I can…try-'

'NO, YOU CAN'T!' Potter full on screamed at him in the face. 'HOW COULD YOU EVER UNDERSTAND?'

Severus didn't say anything; didn't do anything at all.

The boy turned away from the tower's edge so as to directly face him. 'EVERYONE I EVER LOVED…DIED PROTECTING ME OR BECAUSE OF ME…BECAUSE OF ME!' he shouted. Severus still didn't say anything; he didn't actually think he could have if he wanted to. Those eyes were so intense; they were glaring at him with that fiery rage but at the same time…were begging with him; pleading with him to understand.

'You know, it would have been so much simpler; so much easier if Voldemort had managed to kill me that night my parents were killed,' he sobbed dramatically. 'If he had than they would all still be alive! All of them!'

'You don't know that…

'IT'S TRUE!'

This had to end now, Severus knew he had to do something now or Potter would jump. 'Harry,' he whispered, putting as much sincerity into his voice as he could muster, 'please. Don't do this.'

The boy said nothing, staring at him; with that wild fire. Hesitantly he reached out his hand, offering Potter to take it. 'Please, come down from there.'

'Why should I?'

'I can help you,' he said.

Harry didn't look like he believed him. 'Really?'

Severus honestly didn't know but he was prepared to say anything if it meant getting Potter out of here alive. 'I can try.'

There was something in Potter's eyes. Hope? Hesitation? Trust? 'Harry,' he persisted, extending his hand further.

Slowly, very slowly; Potter turned away from the edge and reached out for his offered hand, all the while holding his gaze. And for one moment Severus was sure both of them were going to get out of this unscathed but then the cards turned.

Harry nervously shifted forward to grasp his hand when his foot slipped, his head violently hit one of the stone blocks of the tower and with a startled cry his began to fall backwards. Severus reacted just in time to grab Harry's arm preventing him from falling to what surely would have been his death but now dangling over the edge of the tower!

Summing up all the strength he could muster he pulled Harry up with all his might and up over the railing where they both collapsed onto the floor in a heap.

Severus shifted up sorely onto his elbow and was about to start yelling at the idiotic boy for nearly getting them both killed but immediately his anger at the boy evaporated. Potter lay curled up shivering on the ground, his bleeding head in his hands, weeping his heart out; finally, after all these months; finally mourning.

Severus felt his throat constrict and an unshed tear begin in his eye. Hesitantly he reached out and pulled the boy to him; holding him protectively to his chest. Potter didn't resist; in fact, he seemed to welcome it, holding onto the front of his robes as if he were the only thing towing him to this earth.

'It's alright,' Severus tried to comfort him, 'Everything's going to be alright now.'

THE END

Like what you read? Look out for the sequel; Of Lovers and Lilies, coming soon…

Give me your thoughts, reviews welcome...


End file.
